iCarly parody
by twf414gf
Summary: A parody of the show iCarly on Nickelodeon.


**Apologies to Nickelodeon/Viacom (owners of iCarly), as well as to any other companies whose characters, trademarks, or copyrights I use in this script; I don't own the rights to any of them, nor is my story endorsed or sponsored by anybody other than myself. This is a parody and is not for profit, and I don't mean to infringe on any copyrights or cause any financial harm to Nickelodeon or any other company. Please support the companies that own these characters, copyrights, etc.**

**Also, this script is being written to show my admiration for the show iCarly, by poking light-hearted fun at it. Don't worry iCarly fans, I'm not a hater, I'm one of you :)  
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**That said, on with the iCarly!**

_First scene: Carly's apartment_

_Carly and Sam are sitting on the couch together watching TV, and Sam is eating some fried chicken. Freddie is cooking a pizza in the microwave._

**Carly:** That's just horrible what's going on in Libya right now!

**Sam:** Mmmmmm….fried chicken.

**Carly:** I mean, I wanna see Gadhafi gone just as much as anybody, but there must be a peaceful way to end this conflict, one that doesn't require so many lives on both sides to be lost!

**Sam:** Two deep-fried, juicy drumsticks, baby. _(smiles and shakes her head up and down)_

**Carly:** You don't care about any of this stuff, do you?

**Sam:** Nope, all I care about is me and my meat.

**Freddie:** How typical—Carly talks about Colonel Gadhafi and all Sam can think about is Colonel Sanders.

**Sam: **Watch it, Benson.

_Just then, Spencer comes running through the door._

**Spencer:** Hey guys, guess what? I got a new girlfriend!

**Carly: **Great!

**Freddie:** She hot?

**Spencer:** Uhhhh…yeah I guess you could say that.

**Sam:** Who's the chick?

**Spencer: **Let me present to you…Gertrude!

_A 80- or 90-year old woman comes walking in the door. Everybody sits stunned for a second._

**Freddie: **Uhhh…that's your new girlfriend?

**Spencer: **Yup!

**Carly: **What is it with you and older women anyway? I mean, most of the women you date are at least like 10 years older than you…including that time you tried to date Gibby's mom. _(makes a face that says "that was weird")_ That was weird enough, but this is ridiculous!

**Spencer:** Aw, chill out, sis, it's gonna be fine. And besides, _(in a more romantic/sophisticated voice, almost exaggeratedly)_ true love knows no ages.

**Sam: **Yo, grandma, don't you have a bridge game to get back to?

_Gertrude whacks Sam with her cane._

**Sam: **Ow!

**Gertrude:** That's what you get for making cracks about my age, you little whippersnapper!

**Sam: **Boy, if you think you can whack me and get away with it, you've got another thing coming.

**Spencer: **_(in a sarcastic "talking to little kids" voice) _Now, now, children, settle down. Well, it's about time for my date with Gertrude. Be back in a couple hours. See ya!

_Spencer and Gertrude leave. Carly, Sam, and Freddie look at each other in bewilderment._

**Carly:** Sometimes I don't get my brother.

_Later that evening, in Carly's apartment, Carly, Sam, and Freddie are watching "Anna Indiana," a sitcom on the Dingo Channel about a teenage girl who leads a double life as a normal girl and a famous actress._

**Carly:** Celebrities must have a great life and all that, but don't you think you'd get tired of it after a while? I mean, everywhere you go, you'll get surrounded by mobs of people wanting your autograph and paparazzi taking your picture. And plus, you wouldn't really get much of a chance to live a normal life and meet "normal" people, except through all the tons of fan mail you get. _(brief pause) _If somebody asked me to become a teen star like her, I'd go jump in a lake.

**Sam: **True chiz.

_Just then, Spencer comes back in._

**Carly:** So how'd it go with Gertrude?

**Spencer:** Ehhh…not so great, she said I was "out of her league."

**Sam:** Why am I not surprised?

_Brief pause._

**Freddie:** You know, I've been wondering something for a while…

**Spencer:** What's up?

**Freddie:** Instead of giving Nevel the Galaxy Wars car that one time, why didn't we just let his plan backfire by letting him take his case against us to court, argue he was the one that committed fraud and not us 'cause he tricked us with the contest thing, prove our point with the evidence we have against him, listen to the judge declare him guilty, and watch in pleasure as he gets frog-marched off to jail while he kicks and yells like the brat he is?

**Spencer:** Dude, this is a kids' show, not Judge Judy! They never have us think that legal stuff out.

_New scene: iCarly studio; Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Gibby are getting ready for a new iCarly webshow._

**Sam: **Ya ready to get this shindig going?

**Gibby:** Yeah! Let's do this thing!

**Freddie: **All right, in 5, 4, 3, 2…

**Carly: **I'm sugar…

**Sam: **…and I'm spice…

**Carly and Sam:** …and this is…_ICARLY_!

**Carly:** Do you know what time it is Sam?

**Sam:** _(playing dumb)_ No I don't know, what time is it?

**Carly:** It's time for…

**Carly and Sam: **PIN THE TAIL ON THE GIBBY!

**Gibby:** Hey! You never told me about this part!

**Carly:** _(elbowing Gibby) _So my lovely assistant Sam is gonna blindfold—

**Sam: **_(dropping her excited, "iCarly" tone of voice) _Whoa, whoa, hold up, why am _I_ the assistant?

**Carly:** Sam…!

**Sam:** And why's it called i_Carly_ anyway? Why not "iCarly and Sam?" Or better yet, iSam and Carly?

**Carly:** Don't be so picky, you get to do all the same stuff I do on the show.

**Sam:** Yeah, but who decides when to film the episodes and everything?

**Carly:** Well, I _am_ the star of the show…

**Sam: **Well, if it wasn't for me, there wouldn't even _be_ a show, remember I was the one that made the picture of Ms. Briggs as a rhinoceros?

**Carly:** C'mon, Sam, did you eat one too many corn dogs last night?

**Sam:** No I'm fine, I'm just sick of being number 2 and sitting in the shadow of _(says mockingly) _"America's Darling."

**Carly: **I'm not America's Darling.

**Sam: **Then why were there more Creddie fans than Seddie fans at Webicon anyway? What exactly do people see in you that they don't see in me?

**Carly:** _(starting to lose it)_ Well, let's see…I'm sweet, caring, friendly, and—oh yeah, I've never been arrested before!

**Sam:** I may be a jailbird, but at least I'm not all sunshine and smiles like you! I mean, listen to these lyrics: "I know you'll see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful…" That sounds like something off of Sesame Street!

**Carly:** I don't know why I even bother to hang out with you anyway! First, you give away the iCarly shirt I gave you as a present, and—

**Sam: **This again? I told you, I needed tickets to get into the Cuttlefish concert!

**Freddie: **Guys, just settle down, and let's play the fan video.

**Sam:** _(sighs)_ Okay, fine.

**Freddie: **Playing!

_A girl/young woman in her early 20's is shown in the video._

**Jenny:** Hi, I'm Jenny! I hope this video makes it onto your show. I just wanna say, I love iCarly a lot! I think Carly's my favorite character, she's so sweet and kind, I wish there were more girls like her. I don't really like Sam much, though, 'cause she kind of acts all aggressive and bossy towards everybody. Looking forward to watching more iCarly's! Toodles!

**Sam:** And the fans don't like me either? That's it, I'm outta here! I hear they're hiring at Disney Channel.

**Carly: **Wait, Sam, don't go!

**Freddie:** See ya! _(after Sam leaves, Freddie looks at Carly)_ Wonder what _her_ problem is.

_Carly shrugs._

**Gibby:** Doesn't she mean "Dingo Channel?"

**Carly: **GIBBY!

_New scene—the ship from "The Suite Life On Deck" on Disney Channel. Sam is talking to Woody from the show._

**Woody: **…and Zack and Cody told me to learn table manners, and London called me a filthy poor person! Everybody thinks I'm a disgusting slob! _(starts crying into his hands)_

**Sam: **_(in her "tomboy" voice) _Don't worry bud…the world just doesn't understand us disgusting people.

**Woody: **Hurtful…!

**Sam:** I was just tryin' to cheer you up…whaddaya say we leave all our troubles behind us and start our own show? We could call it the "Sam and Woody Show!"

**Woody:** Sounds great! Do I get to have all the meatballs I want?

**Sam: **_(excitedly) _You like meatballs too?

**Woody: **Of course! Dude, I totally _love_ meat.

**Sam:** Me too! Including ribs?

**Woody:** The messier the better!

**Sam:** This looks like the beginning of a BEAU-tiful friendship….

_Tag scene—back at Carly's apartment_

**Carly: **I'm Carly…

**Freddie:** …and I'm Freddie, taking over for Sam ever since she left to go work for Mickey Mouse.

**Carly:** I'm playing a teen with lots of problems on my mind…

**Freddie:** …and I'm playing a good friend with helpful advice.

**Carly: **The tickets to the Mariners game are sold out!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** My little brother's really bugging me!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I feel really depressed!

**Freddie:** Then if you're ever looking for somebody else, you know where to find me.

**Carly:** Freddie…!

**Freddie:** I mean, go to iCarly dot com.

**Carly: **Brad Pitt won't write back to my tweets!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** I can't decide who to vote for!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** There's a T-rex in my closet that's about to eat me, and I need to defend myself somehow!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** The US has hit its debt ceiling, and if we don't do anything about it by August 2, then the federal government will go bankrupt, and the economy could collapse!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** If we continue destroying the environment at the rate we are, then humans could go extinct!

**Freddie:** Then go to iCarly dot com!

**Carly:** My friend keeps annoying me by telling me over and over again to go to some random website! He thinks it's the solution to all the problems in the world!

**Freddie: **Then go to…HEY!

Notes:

-The part where Carly is watching "Anna Indiana" and talking about celebrities is supposed to poke fun at Miranda Cosgrove, Carly's actress, who actually _is_ a teen star. (And Anna Indiana, of course, is a reference to Hannah Montana.)

-The part where Sam gets into an argument with Carly and leaves for Disney Channel is a reference/homage to a video on CollegeHumor called "Luigi Finally Snaps," where Luigi does the same thing with Mario. The line "I hear they're hiring at Disney Channel" is borrowed from Luigi's line "I heard they're hiring at Sega."

-The part at the end where Freddie keeps saying "go to iCarly dot com" is a parody of a similar tag scene at the end of one of the iCarly episodes, where Sam (instead of Freddie) says this every time Carly asks her for advice with something.

-This story mentions two current events that were going on at the time I wrote this script (May-June 2011), namely the civil war in Libya and the US debt ceiling crisis. However, at the time of posting this story (July 2011), they're still in the news.

**Review this story and let me know what you think!**


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